The New Obama Fast-Food Insurance Bill

Now that the Health Care Bill has passed I would like to introduce you to the next program out of Washington. The Fast-Food Insurance Bill (FIB). As is well documented, eating fast foods can cause obesity, and put individuals at risk for heart related illnesses, and cause diabetes. This bill supplements the Health Care Bill by providing those with any of these conditions that can be shown to be caused by fast foods with access to Federally sponsored Health/Weight-Loss Spas. Spas are already prevalent in many areas such as Europe, where spa leave time is granted employees along with vacation and sick leave. It is time that the United States catch up, and take the lead again. With FIB if you are diagnosed with fast food related obesity, you can get paid time off, from 4-6 weeks, to go to an officially designated Federal Spa designed to change your eating habits. And furthermore, under the provisions of the this Bill, your employers can not fire you for taking time off. The same applies if your doctor diagnoses you with any kind of heart related symptoms or diabetic symptoms which he feels may be related to eating fast foods.

So, it’s a win-win situation, and everyone should be happy with this Bill. You can eat as much fast food as you want, and feel assured if you cross the line, you will be covered. Tired of that person sitting in the airplane taking up his seat and part of yours also? Chances are he or she will end up in a Federal Spa, and next trip they won’t be crowding anyone else out of their seat. Bosses, are you fed up with employees that seem to sag in the afternoon and never get anything done. Chances are they are suffering from Type II Diabetes and eat fast foods everyday for lunch. After a trip to the Spa, they will happily be productive up until quitting time.

I encourage everyone to write their Congressman and support this exciting new Legislation, and put the U.S. back on the fast track to health and vitality.